


when everyone is gone (you’re still here)

by interstellarbeams



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Exes, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, Hurt Kie, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Minor Original Character(s), Prom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26219830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/interstellarbeams/pseuds/interstellarbeams
Summary: Kie wasn’t expecting prom night to be perfect but she certainly wasn’t expecting this.
Relationships: JJ & Kiara (Outer Banks), JJ Maybank & Kiara Carrera, JJ Maybank/Kiara Carrera, JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 86





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just wrote this with a spur of a moment idea so it’s pretty short. Not usually an angst person but I’ve been told I’m good at making people cry so I’m sorry. 🙈😂
> 
> Prompt: “I’m here,” he whispers. “You can talk to me or not talk to me, but I’m here.” 
> 
> Implied abuse and attempted sexual assault but nothing explicit at all. Just be warned, I don’t want to trigger anyone. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated! 💕

“I’m here. You can talk to me or not talk to me, but I’m here.” He whispers, his hand stroking her hair but she ducks her head so that his fingers barely graze the ends before he pulls away.

“Don’t try to placate me right now, JJ, okay? I’m not in the mood.” She sniffs, mad at herself for crying but so angry that she can’t control the emotional outburst. It has to come out somehow even if her voice shakes.

“Okay.” His voice stays quiet as he sinks down onto the edge of her bed, the folded up lavender duvet flattened by his weight as he lays down so that he faces her.

“Why are you here, JJ? I didn’t ask you to come.” She ducks her head into the pillow like a child, letting her voice become muffled by the polyester fill and organic cotton pillowcase, halfway wishing he would go away and desperately longing for him to stay. 

“I saw you leave the party in a rush. You didn’t bring Josh along and he went straight to the spiked punch bowl, so I figured you were in a fight and might be upset, so I followed you here.”

Kie isn’t sure how JJ manages to shrug while laying on one shoulder but he does. She finds the sight slightly endearing and scolds herself for allowing him to charm her when she wants to be mad at him for interrupting her pity party for one. 

The quiet stretches between them, nothing but their breaths and the silent hum as the AC comes on, interrupting Kie and JJ’s woolgathering.

Kie wants to brush at her face, to remove the trace of tears that are coursing down her cheeks but she doesn’t want JJ to know. Although, he could clearly tell if he paid attention, it was dark in her bedroom, the only light illuminating the room coming from the cracked bathroom door. 

Kie had been in the bathroom pulling pins from her hair and trying to scrub away any traces of dripping mascara when JJ had tumbled through her window. He had followed her to the bed and the concern creasing his eyebrows made her want to kiss him, but he wasn’t hers to kiss anymore. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” JJ asks on a sigh, like he’s resigned to ask the question but really doesn’t want to pry into her personal business. 

Kie knows they aren’t together anymore, but she wants to tell him everything, to spill her guts until there’s nothing more to say and she's as empty as the manufactured shells for sale at the interminable tourist shops lining the main strip through town. But she knows if she tells him what really happened tonight, he’ll be willing to kill for her and she can’t have that, so she shrugs, picks at a loose string on the sheets and avoids his eyes.

The sheets rustle as he moves and she tenses, fight or flight instinct kicks in and she hates the feeling but all of a sudden, she understands him more than she ever has before and it sucks.

“You’re still my best friend, you know? You can tell me… but you don’t have to. I’m staying though. You don’t have to be alone. I’m here.”

“JJ! Shut _up_!”

“What? Why?” He draws back and she experiences an urge to pull him closer, to lay her head on his chest and let his heartbeat lull her to sleep until she forgets everything that happened tonight. A night that was supposed to be perfect and ended up being the worst that had ever happened to her, and that counts the night she thought that John B and Sarah had died fleeing into the path of a tropical storm. 

“Because you’re going to make me cry. I hate crying.” Her voice wobbles and she tucks her hands under the pillow so she won’t follow through on her urges. 

“You’re already crying.” JJ offers helpfully and she wants to slug him for being so perceptive, when he should be as annoying and self-centered as all the other boys she knows. Maybe that’s why she wishes they weren’t exes anymore, because he has always been able to read her so well, even when she sort of hates him. 

“It’s not the same thing.” She sniffles again, wiping her hand against her cheek because she has no other choice. 

“What do you mean?” His voice is still quiet but she can hear the real curiosity and bites her lip, afraid that she will say something more that will get her into trouble.

His blue eyes are murky in the dark but she can feel the tension as he waits for her answer, his body that typically is a ball of energy tense with unusual stillness like a bow string before the arrow is launched.

“Because I don’t have the energy to cry over two boys tonight.” 

“Two? What did _I_ do?”

Kie sighs this time, rolling over onto her back and she swears he whispers her name but she pretends she didn’t hear it over the rustle of her skirt, the beautiful blue prom dress she loved so much, now tainted with memories of her night with Josh and the real reason she picked the dress — it reminded her of her ex-boyfriend’s eyes.

“Nothing, JJ. I’m just tired. I want to change out of this ridiculous dress and put on my pj’s and sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” She prays that he’ll listen, that he won’t argue, that he’ll follow her wishes for once, but she should have known better.

“I’m not leaving you alone. Not tonight. Besides, your parents are out of town. What if— what if Josh comes back?”

“Why would he come here?” She finds herself asking out loud, fingers twisted together over top of her stomach, painful anxiety curling beneath them. 

“You broke up with him, right? And he’s just the type of jerk off to try and force you to stay. I don’t trust that look in his eye.”

“How did you…?” She almost asks, but then she remembers that he can read her so much better than she thinks he can.

“I was at prom too, Kie. I saw how possessive he was acting and how he kept trying to force you into the dark corners of the social hall. I might not be the smartest guy in the room but I’m not dumb.” 

“You were watching me?” Kie leans up onto her elbow, glaring at him in the dim light. She can see the white of his shirt under the silvery gray vest that he wore tonight and the gold of his hair but by his relaxed pose, she knew he didn’t feel any guilt about it.

“You’re my friend, Kie, in case you forgot. And I never trusted that guy. Not from the beginning. He’s too perfect and— and a Kook, for fuck’s sake. They’re used to taking whatever catches their eye, whether it belongs to them or not, like Ward Cameron with Big John’s gold. Of course, I didn’t trust him with you.”

“And I’m the gold in this situation, right? Just an object to be yanked back and forth like I don’t matter. You don’t _own_ me JJ, whether we’re friends or anything else.”

“I never said that!” JJ sits up quickly and Kie pulls back to lean her head against the headboard, fingers clutched tight in her skirt. 

He stops when he catches sight of her face and Kie tries to turn away but his fingers are suddenly grabbing ahold of her chin and he tilts her face towards the light, despite how hard she tries to pull away. His fingers are gentle against her skin but the fierce scowl on his face could set the bed on fire. 

“Did he hit you?! Where did this bruise come from? That was not there this morning.”

“It’s nothing.” Kie ducks her head again, pulling her bolster pillow into her chest. She hadn’t thought the bruise would show so quickly or she would have left her makeup the way that it was. 

“It’s not nothing. Trust me. I’m a Maybank. Bruises like that aren’t nothing.” He draws closer, his movements made jerky by his anger, and she knows, logically, that he isn’t mad at her, that he would never hurt her but she flinches anyways, stopping him in his tracks.

“God, Kie. I never thought he would do something like this. I’m so— sor-sorry.” His voice breaks and she wants to cry again. She didn’t want him to know. She knows that he can take a lot but when it comes to the people he loves and them receiving the same kind of treatment that he has, well, he doesn’t take it well. _She didn’t want him to know._

“I’m sorry.” She finds herself saying, tears clogging her voice, though she has no idea why she is apologizing. 

“No, Kie. Baby, no. It’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize. I get it.” His warm fingers are suddenly on top of her icy ones, clasping hers between his own and she clings to him. She searches his gaze, waiting for condemnation, for a comment like, ‘It’s your fault for wearing that dress and tempting him’ (he had tried to force her) or “You shouldn’t have provoked him by speaking your mind,” (but she had said ‘no’) but JJ is silent as he squeezes her fingers between his own. Then she’s crying again, harsh, deep sobs that make her shoulder blades hurt like they’re caving into her ribs. 

“You’re okay.” He speaks, repeating it over and over like a mantra, following behind the movement of his fingers as they card through her hair in a soothing motion. 

Finally, her tears slow and her sobs quiet into hiccups that make her head hurt, blood pounding from the force of her crying. 

She feels wrung out, like a damp rag, emptied of tears but somehow lighter. She knows tomorrow her parents will come back home and she’ll have to explain what happened — that their golden boy, the Kook who they encouraged their daughter to date because he wasn’t from the wrong side of the island has treated her worse than any other. 

“Will you stay with me?” She asks, not even waiting for his answer before she lays back down and pulls him down with her. The familiar scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body as he wraps his arms around her, soothes her and she feels her eyes getting heavy. 

“I’m done with boys like him.” She murmurs, smoothing her finger across the thumb ring on JJ’s left hand. 

“I hope so.” JJ’s breath stirs her hair and she wishes she was brave enough to turn around and tell him just how much he means to her, how she regrets breaking up with him. He holds her heart and he doesn’t even know it, but maybe she’ll tell him when she wakes up, when the day is new and tonight’s mistakes are in her rear view. Maybe she’ll even tell him that she misses him, that she loves him, has always loved him and she never wants them to part ever again. _Maybe she’ll—_

————

She misses the tears that run down his cheeks as she slips into sleep. She misses the silent watch he takes over her as the night hours pass by and the quiet _i love you_ that he whispers as the sun comes up and a new day is born.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after prom night JJ sticks around to show Kie just how good a friend he can be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank Alex for looking this over and making suggestions even when she wasn’t feeling good. Bless you! 😘
> 
> For all of you who requested a second half. I hope you know what you’re getting yourselves into. 😉
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated! 💕

The soft exhale of her breath as she wakes up brings JJ out of the depths of his thoughts, like coming up for air after too long underwater. He had gotten used to the sound when they were together but hasn’t heard it in a long time. It brings back memories of warm skin, fierce kisses and night’s stolen without her parents knowledge but he pushes that thought away.

The darkness of the bruise against her beautiful skin reminds him of why he chose to stay the night and anger curdles in his stomach, tensing his muscles he clenches his jaw against the curse that wants to fly past his lips. She deserves better, so much better. 

_Why couldn’t he give that to her? Maybe if he hadn’t been so selfish, she might have stuck around_ , he thinks, but then she moves, her head stirring against the pillow, her curls tickling at his cheek and he swallows it down.

“Good morning.” 

“Morning.” She replies, her voice muted and husky from sleep. He tries not to let that get to him, but he’s extremely grateful that she had pulled away from him in the night and was laying on her own pillow. Who knows what kind of trouble his body would get him into if they were still pressed tight together. Probably best not to think about it. 

She stretches, one arm coming close to whacking him in the face; she’s always been like this. Her atmosphere always extends out like the head of a sunflower searching for the sun’s warmth. If only he could be that comfort to her. 

“You’re still here?” She asks, like she expected different, like she doesn’t know how much he cares about her and how he would do anything for her. _Maybe she’s still half asleep_ , he thinks, but then she turns over and her eyes lock onto him and he’s forced to answer.

“Of course. I said I was gonna stay, didn’t I?” 

“Yes, you did. I just— didn’t want you to think that you _had_ to. I’ll be okay.”

“You’re just trying to get rid of me, is that it?” JJ teases, relieved to see a smile lift her lips, but then she winces from the stretch of skin across her cheeks and he feels guilty for causing her pain. 

“Always, you’re like a thorn in my side.” She sits up, the sunlight hitting her and making the ocean blue sequins on her dress sparkle and he has to squint against the full force of her beauty, wrinkled satin and all.

She groans as she twists, stretching out her back and he tries not to stare at the low cut cleavage of her dress that had practically haunted him the night before. She was already being ogled by most of the school’s population, she brought a Kook to Pogue Prom after all, but she was more than just a pretty face or an impressive body, she was his best friend and he respected her. 

He looks away, dropping his legs over the side of the bed, so that his back is to her, and places his feet on her gray and white rug, staring down at his shiny shoes.

“I’m so ready to get out of this dress.” The sheets rustle behind him and he closes his eyes tight against the thought of her changing as the bathroom door closes behind her.

JJ drops his head into his hands, running his fingers through his hair to stop his hands from shaking. What he wouldn’t give to settle the score with Josh, give him a shiner like one he’s never seen before to show him what she experienced at his hands the night before, but he knows Kie wouldn’t want that so he settles for violently yanking off his tie and tossing it to the floor.

“That’s better.” Her voice sounds unusually bright and he shifts so he can see her, tangled hair dangling over her shoulders. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, standing up to cross the floor but hanging back so he isn’t crowding her. Despite the fact that she had let him hold her the night before, he isn’t sure where their boundaries are now and how comfortable she would be with him coming any closer. 

“I’m still tired and wish last night had never happened but other than that.” Kie shrugs, and he hates how nonchalant she’s trying to be about the whole thing, but he doesn’t want to get in an argument, so he lets it be.

Her gaze travels down his body and he squelches the urge to shift his stance, not willing to let her see how her whole being affects him. She was basically just attacked by someone else’s overzealous attention and he doesn’t want to add to her burden by bringing up any of their unresolved issues. 

“Don’t you want to change? I’m sure I can find you something.”

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t mention it before, usually you would be complaining about how uncomfortable you are and how your tie is choking you.” Kie turns to dig around in one of her dresser drawers and he brushes a hand through his hair, trying to ignore the warmth that floods his chest when she hands him a shirt that he recognizes. 

“Hey, I was wondering where this went. I thought it was lost in the depths of my messy bedroom.”

“Yeah, that’s why I kept it.” Kie quirks an eyebrow, the directness of her gaze so typical of how she faces every situation, _head on_. “I knew you would assume it was somewhere but would never actually look for it.” 

“Hey! I resent that remark.” 

Kie’s face brightens as she smiles and he almost forgets why she had just handed him the shirt and that it wasn’t so they could walk down memory lane together. 

“I’ll uh— go get changed. I’ll be right back.”

“I’m not fragile, JJ. I can be alone for two minutes while you change.”

“I know. I just— it makes _me_ feel better to say it.” 

“Oh.” The soft sound of her response echoes in his ears as he shuts the bathroom door behind him. 

The reflection in the mirror doesn’t look any different but JJ feels like he’s not the same person who woke up yesterday morning. Sure, Kie had been Josh’s girlfriend then, had been preparing all day to spend the night with him, not JJ, but yesterday she also hadn’t known what it felt like to be abused and treated like you were worthless, and now she did. That had changed him, because he never expected that Kiara would ever have to experience something that had formed his life in the negative direction it had. She deserves more than that. She deserves a life like the one her parents had dreamed up for her, but then the guy that they had thought was so perfect had turned out to be just as shitty a person as JJ’s dad and he couldn’t stand that. 

JJ sighs as he unbuttons his vest and then his shirt — he’ll have to return them to the rental service later that afternoon but right now he doesn’t care — tossing them one after the other onto Kie’s bathroom floor and pulling his comfortable and worn t-shirt over his head. It doesn’t smell like he expects it to, the scent of Kie’s laundry detergent and the smell of brand new furniture mixing together on the fabric.

“Are you hungry?” Kie asks from the bed, phone held above her face as she reclines against the pillows. JJ’s eyes burn with lack of sleep and he wishes it was his turn to curl up at her side and drift off without a care, but he can’t, so he admits that he could eat and follows her down the stairs.

JJ has been in Kie’s kitchen, maybe twice in the span of their five year friendship, but it looks the same as it always does. Countertops shining expensively without any clutter, dark cherry wood cabinets with matching hardware and a stainless steel fridge that’s almost as big as his full size bed at home. There’s a vase full of flowers in the middle of the kitchen island, the white flowers looking pristine. JJ’s more a fan of abundance — minimalist is not his style though it certainly fits his budget, but he feels like Kie’s house isn’t really a home. It feels more like a showroom and he understands why she chooses to spend the majority of her time with him, John B and Pope. This kitchen and her house in general, seems like a place where it would be hard to grow and he understands why for Kie it is suffocating. 

He feels like an impostor as he gazes out the window at the Carerra’s expansive backyard. It’s certainly smaller than the Cameron’s but there aren’t any junker cars or hub caps, no rusting lawn chairs or abandoned table leaves lying around like there are at his house. It’s nice, with flowers lining the brick walkway and water sprinklers keeping the grass green so that it never withers and yellows. 

“There’s cereal.” Kie’s voice breaks him out of his reverie and he turns to find her watching him, one hand on the door to the fridge. “Or frozen waffles.”

“Cereal is fine.” 

“What kind?”

“What do you have?” JJ leans against the kitchen island, watching as she reaches up into a cabinet and pulls out a couple of different boxes. His cereal cabinet at home has maybe one box in it and the milk in the fridge is always expired because his dad can’t be bothered to do anything other than lay on the couch and down prescription pills after sips of Pabst. 

“Cocoa Puffs, Cheerios and Lucky Charms.”

“Let me guess, the Lucky Charms are yours.”

“No, actually, they’re my dad’s. Mom keeps trying to get him off sugar but he’s stubborn. I usually have a smoothie bowl.” JJ feels like he should have known that, but his desperation to reconnect with her after last night is clouding his judgement. 

“Right. I’ll take the Cocoa Puffs, I don’t want your dad to come home to find all his cereal gone.”

“Good idea.”

They return to her room, JJ’s bowl of cereal balanced carefully so that he doesn’t spill milk on the hardwood floors. Kie’s got some sort of vegan cereal bar and he wants to protest that that’s not enough food to keep even a rabbit alive but he’s not willing to get on her bad side right now so he holds his tongue.

They settle down on the floor at the foot of her bed, pillows tucked between their shoulders and the hard base of her footboard and eat. The silence is comfortable at first but after a few minutes, JJ starts to get antsy. Wondering how Kie’s really feeling, dreading finding out what happened but also knowing she needs to let it out for her own good. 

After he chews his last bite of cereal and drinks the milk, he turns to face her, their knees brushing. “Are you gonna tell me what happened?”

Kie sighs heavily, like she knew the question was coming but she doesn’t ignore him.

“I— I don’t know if I can. I don’t want you to go crazy and attack him or something.”

“I’m not going to attack him. Scouts honor.” JJ places his hand over his heart in a _promise_ motion. 

Kie rolls her eyes, leaning her head back against the pale wood. “You were never a Boy Scout, JJ.”

“How do you know? I could’ve…”

“JJ, functioning in polite society is not your strong suit. You were the one who said community volunteering might as well be public castration.” 

“Well, that’s how I feel about it. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it… if I _had_ to.”

“Okay.” Kie’s lips purse and he knows she’s trying not to laugh. Her eyes give her away, sparking brightly, the skin wrinkling at the corners as she tries not to make a sound. 

“You don’t believe me?” He chuckles when she crumples up her wrapper and tosses it at him, the recycled paper it’s made of falling short.

“No. I don’t.”

“I guess that’s fair.” JJ glances down, ducking his head he flicks a pale piece of fuzz off the black dress pants he still wears. 

“It’s not a bad thing.” Kie pokes him in the side and he moves out of reach just in case she decides to tickle him. JJ can take a lot but tickling is basically his undoing and she knows it. “Plenty of people have never volunteered in their lives. You’re among the majority on this one.”

“Great. I’ve always wanted to be one of the regular people.”

“Shut up!” Kie knocks her shoulder into his and he laughs, rubbing at his shoulder. 

“God, you need to eat something! Your shoulder jabbed into mine like a pair of scissors.” 

“Hey, I eat.” The moment turns solemn as Kie turns away, her smile drops and JJ knows he has stuck his foot in his mouth again. 

“Kie. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” 

“It’s okay.” She picks at one of the woven bracelets on her wrist and he longs to grab ahold of her fingers and intertwine his with hers, but he doesn’t. 

“You really aren’t going to tell me what happened?” He finally speaks, watching the movement of shadows across the wall, the tree branch outside her window silhouetted as it waves in the morning sun.

She shifts closer and leans her head on his shoulder and he knows he’s forgiven, though guilt still churns in his stomach.

“I don’t know. I mean, Josh was being possessive all night, but I figured it was because he was in unfamiliar territory. Y’all were there and Josh was never comfortable with how close I was to the three of you. He brought it up so often. I swear I wanted to plug my ears so many times. He just wouldn’t shut up about it.”

“He knew about us, then, huh?”

“Well, _yeah_. You know how I am about honesty in a relationship. I couldn’t lie to him about it. He knew everything.” She lifted her head and he felt the sudden loss of her warmth like a cloud edging over the sun on a winter day.

“Gotcha.” JJ turns to look at her but she’s looking down at her lap so he reaches for her hand instead, giving it a quick squeeze. He plans to let go but her fingers cling to his and he rests their hands on top of their knees.

“I didn’t think he would have a problem with me seeing you. We’re friends now, but his face turned so red when I told him I was going to hang out with you last night, so I stayed by his side.”

“Was he drinking any? I mean, everybody was, it’s not a big deal.”

“You weren’t.” 

JJ shrugged, failing to mention that he hadn’t wanted to miss anything about the night before, even though Kie hadn’t been his date. He was so thankful he had made that decision, because drunk JJ probably would have decided to show Josh a lesson and ended up in the slammer and would not be sitting next to his best friend comforting her through this mess. 

“He— it’s like you said. He kept trying to push me into the shadows so he could feel me up where the chaperones couldn’t see, but I kept pushing him away, telling him to wait until after the dance but he kept getting angrier at me, the more I told him no.”

“Did you ever—?” JJ doesn’t want to say it. He knows Kie has had sexual experiences before they were together and more than likely after they were together but he hates the idea of her giving herself to someone like that bastard, who hadn’t valued her except for _that_. 

He felt his hand getting sweaty in her grasp waiting for her answer and dreading it. Wishing he could pull away but he can’t and she probably knows it. 

“No. I mean, we fooled around but we never went there. Trust me, he was very tenacious about it. After I told him no. He— he said…” She breaks off, her voice catching and JJ’s heart breaks to hear it. “He said that I let _you_ touch me and if I allowed that well... that’s when I got mad and I slapped him, and then, that’s… that’s when he punched me.” 

“Son of a bitch!” JJ swore vehemently and he would have stood up to pace the room but Kie held him down, fingers tightening on his.

“You said you wouldn’t attack him.” 

“I’m not— I won’t. I just—“ JJ violently throws his head back, the pain of his head connecting with the wood grounding him.

Kie gasps quietly and he hates that he caused it but he can’t control the anger that courses through him at the thought of that Kook talking to Kiara like that, forget what he inferred about him. 

“JJ, please. Stop, okay?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I can’t— I can’t believe him.”

“I know. I know. Can we just forget about it? I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”

The silence settles between them and JJ doesn’t know what to do. The morning is slowly slipping by and he needs to leave… he has work later, he needs to take his suit back to the rental place before he owes a fee and her parents are due to show up any time but he doesn’t move. All those things will just have to wait.

“It was hard seeing you with him before…” He trails off, knowing that he’s tiptoeing into dangerous territory but he can’t stop the words from coming out.

“It was? I mean. I know we have history but you never said anything.”

“God, Kie… you don’t think I wanted to so fucking badly. I just— I trusted you and I wanted you to be able to move on but him— he wasn’t the right choice.”

Kie bows her head again, a soft, quiet ‘ _I know_ ’ escaping past her plush lips and he swears he can hear tears in her voice. _He didn’t want to make her cry._

“Shit! Kie, I—“

“ _Don’t_ say you’re sorry!” She jerks her head up, eyes blazing and he almost cringes away from her but the anger in her eyes isn’t targeted at him. “You’re not to blame, don't you dare say it. This was all Josh’s fault. And mine for listening when my parents told me I should break it off with you.”

“They did what?” JJ shouldn’t have been surprised that her parents held some responsibility for their relationship ending but it still threw him for a loop. 

“I’m so ashamed, JJ and I’m sorry. I never should have listened to them. God!” Tears are making courses down her cheeks now, smearing what was left of her mascara and the black eyeliner that she had never needed to look beautiful to him in the first place.

“No. If I’m not allowed ‘sorry’ you’re not either. We both made mistakes and we both allowed our insecurities to get the better of us. Let’s just put it behind us, like in the Lion King and we’ll start over again.”

“Like in _The Lion King_ … what?” Kie sniffs as she frowns over at him and JJ has to forcefully hold in a laugh.

“You know... ‘leave the past behind you cause it’s in the past..?’” JJ tries his best Rastafarian accent but by Kie’s frown he can tell she has no idea what he’s talking about. 

“When the baboon hits Simba over the head with the staff thing and he said ‘ow, that hurts.’ You don’t remember that?”

“No. Am I supposed to?” Kie’s frown slowly lifts the more he tries to explain it and JJ can’t help but get lost in the beauty of her smile as she laughs at him.

“Nevermind. I guess I’m not explaining myself very well.”

“No, you're not.” Kie huffs, her eyes losing their glassy tinge.

“Look, what I’m trying to say is, We should start over, okay? Let today be a new start or whatever that bullshit is you’re always preaching.”

“Like ‘tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it yet.’”

“Yeah. I mean, what?”

“Now it’s my turn to confuse you with my literary knowledge.”

“Oh great. Now we’re bringing books into it?” JJ groans dramatically, dropping his head back against the footboard again. “Don’t remind me. I have to retake the SAT’s next weekend.” 

“Poor baby.” Kie turns her body so she’s facing him, and tilts her head so that it’s propped up against the carved footboard.

JJ swallows hard, her eyes look heavy lidded and the seductive similarity is stirring up something in him that is really not okay in the presence of your best friend. He longs to jump up and run, the look on her face making him want to pull her close and push her away at the same time. He doesn’t know what to do.

His body apparently doesn’t listen to his brain because instead of fleeing like all his instincts are telling him to do, he turns to face her, leaning to mimic her position. 

“You’re really something, JJ Maybank.” She softly whispers and he can’t stop the way his heart jumps in his chest at the sound of her kind words.

“You’re special too.” He manages to get out although his heart seems to be lodged between the roof of his mouth and his tongue so he’s surprised he can say anything at all. 

“I should have told you last night how much you mean to me.” She admits, brown eyes locked on his and he can’t even imagine looking away now. Up close he can see the darker flecks of freckles spattering her nose with a few scattered under her eyes like frolicking stars. _God, how he wants to kiss every single one until his kisses become an amorous connect-the-dot game._

“What do you mean?” He asks though he can barely hear his own questions over the sound of his heartbeat racing in his ears. 

“I mean, I love you. That’s what I wanted to say last night. I miss you and I don’t want us to be separated anymore. I want to be with you… isn’t that enough?”

“Damn it Kie. That’s all I ever wanted since I watched you walk away the first time.”

Her eyes seem to ask him if he really means it but he no longer has time for confessions. She’s here and he wants all that she will give him.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” He asks, afraid she’ll say no but hoping that even if she does that that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want anything to do with him.

“I’m serious, JJ. I want to be with you and only you. There are no more Josh’s, just you and me, until the end of the line.”

“Oh my god. Are you quoting movies now too? You know that didn’t go so well the first time.” He teases but before she can react to hit him in the arm he’s ducking his head to kiss her and that’s all that matters. 

She inhales sharply and he instinctively pulls back, afraid that he has crossed a line, that she isn’t ready. 

“This is okay, right?” He murmurs and she nods slightly on a shaky exhale. He can feel the trembling of her fingers when she lifts them to his cheeks but she leans in, her lips tentatively brushing his.

“Cause we can stop. I don’t mind.” He adds, pulling back so he can see her eyes. 

“JJ, I love you but you need to shut up.”

“As my lady commands.” 

“Oh my god. Be quiet and kiss me.” 

JJ takes his kissing seriously so he bends back to her lips, fingers dipping into her hair that’s still stiff with yesterday’s hairspray but her skin is as soft as he remembers it and her lips even softer. 

Blood rushes in his head, pounding like a headache but he ignores it to focus on the soft sounds she makes as he drags her closer so that she’s practically in his lap, legs wrapped loosely around his waist, her fingers clenched around his t-shirt. 

“Why did we ever stop doing this?” He manages to mumble against her skin when they pull apart for breath.

“I don’t know.” Kie’s breaths are tantalizing against the skin of his neck and he shivers. He doesn’t want to pressure her, to push her too far, too soon, but he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of the day with her, wrapped in each other’s arms, and forget about all his responsibilities.

“Are we really going to turn sappy like John B and Sarah?”

“Hell yeah. We deserve a little sappiness.”

Kie shakes her head in amusement, rolling her eyes and he loves this version of her, not the shaking, crying Kiara who’s boyfriend had abused her. This is the girl that she should be — happy, laughing and freshly kissed.

“I don’t know if I can be sappy with you. You’re really annoying.” 

“Me? Annoying? No way!” JJ finds himself laughing, her teasing never bothering him like some people’s. Hers came from a place of love, not condemnation. 

“It’s true.” Kie shrugs and he has a sudden urge and follows through with it, reaching quickly to tickle her sides.

“JJ! No, stop!” She cringes away from him, trying to pull back but he won’t let her, practically pushing her backwards with the weight of his body as he leans all of his strength into his fingers.

“Stop it! Oh my god. I hate you!” She yells out, trying to pull away, twisting and turning to avoid his tickling fingers. Her breathing shortens again and he has to stop to push strands of his hair out of his face, loving the dazed but smiling face as she looks up at him from her place under him. 

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it.” He smirks down at her and he can see she wants to shove him off but he doesn’t want to move. He can certainly get _very_ comfortable with the warmth of her curves pressed against him.

“JJ. Really?!” 

He leans up on his elbows that are placed on either side above her shoulders, the carpet fibers rough against his skin. 

“What?” 

“We literally just got back together.” She pins him with a glare but he doesn’t feel even an ounce of guilt. 

“Can you blame me though? I mean… there’s a reason everyone was staring at you last night.”

“I’m not an object to be admired like a marble statue in a museum.” 

“I know. Doesn’t mean I can keep my eyes off of you.” He lifts a hand to smooth against the purple bruise along her cheek before bending to place a gentle kiss against it. 

“I would never hurt you, you know? Not intentionally and definitely never like this.”

“I know.”

“I know how it feels. No one deserves that.”

“If only you would listen to your own advice.”

“I’m a work in progress, Kie.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“Yeah, I guess we are.”

The silence builds between them but it’s comfortable, the sound of the fan turning overhead is soothing and JJ feels like he could fall asleep like that, Kie’s shoulder a pillow for his tired head, but then the front door slams below and they practically jump apart.

JJ would have laughed if he wasn’t suddenly terrified that her parents will find him here.

“Shit! I forgot they were coming back.” Kie drags her hands across her hair, pulling at the strands but JJ grabs her hands.

“I’ll just sneak down the trellis like I used to.”

Kie rolls her eyes despite the seriousness of him being caught in her bedroom when she’s home alone but he never cared for rules and he isn’t gonna start now. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right? At Rixon’s?” He asks as she opens the door to her balcony and practically shoves him onto the shiny deck. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Wait.” He grabs her by both cheeks, kissing her fiercely, heart pounding in his ears but there is no thrill as exciting as her.

“Go on, get out of here.” She pushes at his shoulder and he salutes her before throwing one leg over the balustrade, his last glimpse of her face lit by the morning sun and a brighter smile.


End file.
